Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Procrastination

[Old habits die hard?]

As the fog dissipates,
the future is foretold.
The prophesied disaster
Followed by sorrow,
Sorrow by the profane.
Vows succeed all,
But as pledges break
The cycle perpetuates.

The wrench of pain and grief crumble
At the sight of the inveterate.
But indifference, not
Admonition, emerges victorious
Over the incorrigible.

9 comments:

Bharat said...

Great poem. The third line is kinda long though, might wanna break it up. And you try to maintain some sort of uniformity in the stanza lengths. It helps with the flow. You could have all stanzas of the same length or alternating long and short stanzas, anything.

And go me! I understood the poem at the first attempt! :D

nikita said...

Thanks for e constructive criticism.
This one needs some work, I wrote it and immediately posted it. Bad day.. lol.

vαsudңα said...

I like the title. The poem, well. You're good, aren't you? What do I say?

I'm jealous. Very jealous.
Pfft.
>.<

L@$H@ said...

ohh...look who's getting jealous...sum1 who's by herself a good pun-poem writer!!!
i like the poem too...but hey...im not jealous....*flutters her eyes*

Vasudha said...

This is *cough* serious stuff, Lasha. Now I can't do that. :P

Bharat said...

FYP's accepting entries now. Last date 31st July.

Vasudha, I can't write a funny poem to save my life. That's a talent in itself. Hell, even my serious 'poetry' is none too great. :/

nikita said...

I'm jeolous too... I cant write humurous poems if my life depended on it. *whines*
And I'm with Bharat, not even my "serious" poems are no good.

vαsudңα said...

*gags and sputters*
I see big egos dissipating. Get a grip, woman. :)

And both you and Bharat are great with your poetry, okay? Think objectively for a change. I won't judge you if you admit to it. :P

nikita said...

My ego dissipating... that doesnt sound right.
and admit to objectivity? I'm bloody objective. *sounds very offended*

So, you taking part in FYP? Which poem?