Sunday, 31 May 2009


God takes revenge. Evidence of fact:-

My IP address has been blocked from his site.

A few days ago, I wrote the first draft of a story on my laptop (up until now, I always wrote first drafts on paper). Before I could save it, my Mac decided to have its own first by crashing.

A day later, my Twitter account was hacked into and now it's been suspended.

The very next day, I was savoring the flavour of bile the entire night.

And today, my iPod died on me taking with it 20 gigs of my music and some great lectures, none of which I had backed up.

Here's some sage advice for you lot, never piss off old, bearded, sadomasochistic, egomaniacal men who only worked for 6 days in all of eternity. It could come back to bite you in the ass.


Sunday, 24 May 2009

Which one's the 4th?

Here's something I thought the world should know, I managed to piss off God. This is how. (In case you're a bit dim and it isn't clear, I'm Nik.)

We're having regular storms here, I expect to be smote soon.

UPDATE: Pitiably I can no longer access the site, I'm told my IP address is blocked. Well, at least I did a good job of pissing Him off.


Tuesday, 5 May 2009


Today, the kindergarten wall took a not so great tumble down to a ghastly pile of crap emerging from my personal Hellmouth set up by IT.

The wall mocks me in verse.

First you brush upon me

In hallowed white

But in the most impious way.

Then you burst upon me a slew of stain

From Satan’s personal palette.

This I can tell for some mortals admired

Except those of sane virtuous way.

But more I grieve as this was not

The end of your profanity.

You soon resolved to

Write upon my trampled skin

The names of books of wicked intent

None prophetic or of sacred verse

But of Irishmen and paedophilic mirth.

Irony struck when you wrote of a catch

For now you are caught in the very same.

Either desert me in this deplorable state

And be mocked by the world for incompetence.

Or amend me to a more agreeable sight

And lose your last penny to effort’s might.

Regardless of stance,

Leave your thoughts not to stand.

A week of nine days you have,

Before you’re caught in either catch.

If I feel masochistic enough sometime, I'll upload some pictures.