[We were bored out of our minds and started ad libbing. Surprisingly enough, we kept it clean. And since I have nothing else to do, I am posting it.]
Nik: Can all mothers kill joy?
Bharat: Yes. Its their one common talent.
Nik: I see. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Bharat: Take me with you.
Nik: Where to?
Bharat: We'll get out of the country and go our separate ways.
Nik: Sure.
Bharat: I'm headed to Turkey.
Nik: I'll go to Italy.
Bharat: You could sail from Turkey to Italy. Go to Sicily.
Nik: Yes. I could do that.
When do we leave? The sooner the better.
Bharat: Yes. How 'bout tonight?
Nik: Ok. Lemme get my socks and my towel. That's all I'll be needing.
Bharat: No wait, I think I should inform my girlfriend before I leave the country. It'd be the gallant thing to do, right?
Nik: Yes, it would. Go on then. Hurry up. We dont have all night.
Bharat: You know what, she's probably studying right now. I'll call her tomorrow. Let's leave
I got my staff and towel.
Nik: Ok then. We're off.
Bharat: Yes we are.
[off the rocker]
Nik: [that happened ages ago. This is a continuation of the same]
Which path do you reckon we should take?
Bharat: Throw your towel. Let it decide.
Nik: It landed hobbes up.
The forest?
Bharat: Yes.
Bharat: Had it been Calvin I'd have called for a space ship. But Hobbes is the forest.
Nik: Fair enough.
To the forrest!
Bugger, what about food?
Bharat: Berries.
Nik: Adequate?
Bharat: We'll kill a few animals, all I need to do is tie this knife to my staff and we'll have a hunting spear.
Wait, did you get string?
Nik: Nope. Ivy?
Bharat: Yes, ivy.
Nik: We need hermit names.
Bharat: I'll be Cuchulainn.
You be Rimmugygr.
Nik: Works. Might scare the squirrels.
Bharat: Yes.
Nik: Hmm. We need to start a fire.
Bharat: My staff can be a torch too. Tie the towel to it, we'll set it on fire.
Nik: No! The towel is our hope for survival.
Bharat: My towel, it's special, it suffers no fire damage.
Nik: Fascinating staff you have Cuchulainn.
Bharat: Thank you, Rimmugygr.
We need to find you a staff.
Nik: I have socks. Don't require a staff.
Bharat: Chuck some stones and nails into your socks.
Nik: My socks are hardly ordinary. Don't need any rocks to make them hard.
Can be pleasurable.
Bharat: Ohhh, man socks
Nik: Yes, very manly indeed.
Bharat: Let's keep moving, I want to be out of the state by dawn
Nik: Let us eat first.
Bharat: Howbout venison?
Nik: Yes. I'll be back in a moment.
*Back with three dead squirrels*
I think I might have overdone it a bit.
Bharat: Nah, its perfect.
Nik: Ok. You need to cook yours?
Bharat: I'll stick it in the torch for a bit
Ah! the fur is smoldering. Just right and succulent.
Nik: I think I'll have it raw though.
Bharat: Suitcherself.
Nik: We'd better be off now. As you said, out of the state by morning.
Bharat: [In Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha they give a viking funeral to a rat they killed.]
Yes, I'm sure my mum has the police looking for me
Nik: [lol. Gotta read that book.]
I'm sure my parents have the entire intelligence force after me.
Bharat: [Yes.]
Nik: Cuchulainn, be wary.
Bharat: Halt and stay silent.
Nik: I think I heard a bee.
Bharat: Thats a tribal warrior.
Nik: Bee warrior it be.
Bharat: These people communicate using bee sounds.
Nik: Ah, we can fool him by doing the same.
Bharat: No, lets kill him. My knife thirsts for blood.
Nik: And my socks for rigor mortis.
Bharat:
*Throws the knife*
*Kills the warrior*
Nik:
*Lets the socks sit on the dead mans chest for a while*
Ok, They're both satisfied and tempered. We can go now.
Dawn approaches. We are close to the state boundary. We'll need a plan to circumvent the police. I'm certain, by now, they know our faces
Bharat: We kill them.
*Extinguishes the fire*
*Ties the knife to the staff with the towel*
Nik:
*Prepares self with socks in either hand*
Bharat: With Gaebolg I will kill them all.
Nik: You take the left flank, I the right.
Bharat: Works.
*Yells the ancient Irish war cry and charges*
Nik:
*Charges while singing Galway Bay*
Bharat: Ut ut ut ut ut.
No wait, that's Saxon. Meh, who cares.
*Throws Gaebolg*
*Gaebolg slices through the air and kills a dozen soldiers in one go*
Nik:
*Chokes a few men with her socks*
*Makes a few dozen sniff them*
Bharat:
*Kills the rest with his towel*
*Retrieves towel and kills another dozen*
Nik: All dead.
Bharat: High five!
Nik:
*Stares at Bharat*
Cuchulainn, you're a friggin hermit.
Bharat: Oh yeah, sorry.
Nik: Let's get moving.
*Dog starts following the duo*
What shall we do with the mutt?
Bharat: Let's domesticate it. Dog meat for when the squirrels die out.
Nik: Yes. Good plan.
It's male. Testicles always taste good.
Bharat: Yes. No need for condiments.
Nik: Yup.
Where in Chewbacca's name are we?
Bharat: We entered a portal. We are in Reykjavik.
You know what's considered edible here, right?
Nik: I know what's considered edible in Gultimysk. Is it the same?
Bharat: Is it fermented?
Nik: Of course.
Bharat: Splendid.
Nik: You still wanna head to turkey? We could live here for a while.
Bharat: Sure.
Nik: I believe grass is legal too.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Ad Libbing
Saturday, 15 November 2008
In Lacking
My blog has been on a slow downward spiral for a while now. So, being somewhat sadistic, I thought to prolong the wretchedness. And here, I post a short poem which I wrote yesterday about being all out of inspiration and my dying blog.
In and around every niched corner
Above and beneath those dusty racks
It evades me still after these months past.
Scoured and sifted in hopes for an ounce.
But not one cares to cease in less than a scowl.
Searching within for the deep seated guilt,
Else maybe for the hatred of enervation
Or lastly for the hope of salvation.
But none yield ideas worth the written word
None provide inspiration for this dying work.
In a tepid attempt to express a pondering
I put down that which occupies us all-
The very truancy of occupation from others and all.
The void of faith now be filled with a specter, that of
Despair fused with far seeing hopes for a savior.
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Sex Determination Tests
Sex determination testing first began at the 1966 European Track Field Championships in response to suspicion that several of the best women athletes from the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe were in fact men posing as women. The International Olympic Committee introduced sex testing in 1968 at the Olympic games in Mexico City, after the masculine appearance of some competitors (many pumped up by anabolic steroids) had started to raise questions about the gender of athletes in female events.
Santhi Soundarajan, a 27 year old track runner, was stripped of her silver medal for the 800m at the Asian Games, suffered tremendous public humiliation and attempted to kill herself. Soundarajan, who has lived her entire life as a woman, failed a gender test.
Walsh, a Polish-American sprinter, was at one point the fastest woman in the world. She set more than 100 national and world records and was inducted into the American Track and Field Hall of Fame in 1975. In 1980, Walsh was killed during an armed robbery. The postmortem revealed she had male genitalia (although this did not prove that she was a man as she was also found to have both male and female chromosomes- a genetic condition known as Mosaicism.)
Dora Ratjen, notable for her deep voice and her refusal to share the shower room with the other female athletes, was Germany's entry (during the Nazi regime) for the women's high jump. She came fourth. Dora, who had been born Hermann Ratjen, had in fact been a member of the Hitler Youth and said that the Nazis had forced him to enter as a woman.
According to the IOC transsexuals, who have had a sex change from male to female, can compete in women's events in the Olympics, as long they wait two years after the operation.
Thursday, 19 June 2008
19 Hits Yeild a Tag
I got a total of 19 hits yesterday, so I figured I'd post something regardless of it being the quintessence of crap .
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?:
If Camus is right and life has no meaning to it and the pursuit of happiness is an endeavour in vain I might as well go back to bed.
Favourite fast food place:
The stash under my bed.
Future child’s name:
Vae Spurius (Latin anyone?)
Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…” :
Buy every last copy of both books One Night At The Call Center and Five Point Someone and then have one helluva bonfire.
Do you drive fast?
I don't drive. If I did, I would currently be sitting on a sand dune somewhere deep in the Gobi desert for I would have gotten lost on the way to my neighour's place.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Yes, I enjoy the practice of taxidermy.
Last movie seen in a theatre:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. On the insistence of brother and mater, I yielded and ended up watching a movie which had one thing going for it: a drove mindless loyal fans.
What book are you reading?
Most recent translation of War And Peace and Three Men On The Bummel
Favourite board game:
Go and chess.
Worst feeling in the world:
Stubbing the same toe twice in a matter of thirty seconds.
Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Yes. I like the idea of the head and stem being re-united in my esophagus, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Storms - Cool or Scary?
Bloody cool. I love to sit out in the rain and listen to the sound of hopefully distant thunder.
If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?
Dirty green: for all those who abhor the colour.
Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
Delhi.
Favourite sports to watch:
Football and Twenty-twenty cricket matches.
Favourite magazine:
Economist, The New Yorker, National Geographic.
Favourite smells:
Fresh earth, paint, yellowing pages of an old book.
Favourite sound:
The crunching of autumn leaves, thunder.
One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
No one tagged me.
So, to nothingness: it never fails to keep me company. :P
What’s under your bed?
In addition to what I mentioned earlier I have a game of Monopoly which has a decades worth of dust and dirt fastidiously layered atop it.
Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Oh hell yes!
Morning person or night owl?
Both/either i.e. I am often an insomniac.
Over easy or sunny side up?
A well done Sunny Side Up.
Favourite place to relax:
On the rocks in the park close to home, anyplace under the night sky.
Favourite ice cream flavour:
Chocolate chip, Cookie Dough, Vanilla with chocolate sauce and nuts.
You pass this tag to:
All those plagued by writer's block.
Saturday, 7 June 2008
I'm IT
I was tagged by Bharat and since it seems I haven't posted for nearly a month, I decided to give my blog a bit of a stir.
- At least two books (currently The Dubliners and The Odyssey)
- My iPod which has only some 3 gig left :(
- Something to write with.
- Something to write on.
- Empty space intended for money that I never possessed.
- The vinyl records adorning my wall
- Piano.
- Laptop- me mac!!
- The books littering every inch of my room (I don't have a book shelf, no room for it. So if any unfortunate soul decides to enter my room he/she/it will have to wade through a knee high pile of junk because every platform is loaded with books.)
- Assortment of articles on topics ranging from music to astrophysics.
- Travel back in time to the Renaissance period.
- Sky dive, deep sea dive and get to base camp of Mt. Everest.
- Visit and preferably live in almost every country on the bloody globe.
- Learn Italian, German, Mandarin and how to play the guitar, drums and saxophone.
- Attend a Pink Floyd concert.
- Go - riveting game!
- Random and generally useless torrents.
- Playing Halo for reasons beyond the tangible.
- Trying to flesh out a story that has been roaming my mind for a while.
- Avoiding the copious supply of house guests.
